How to be happy! YOU WON'T BELIEVE NUMBER 5!

(Sorry for the title, I just had to do this at least once.)

Anyways, I want you to picture someone happy. I think a lot of you would envision a person that's smiling or laughing. But you probably know that you don't have to be smiling in order to be happy (although research shows that it certainly helps). In fact, the United States is one of these unique little countries where we smile and grin so openly to show that we're happy. We know that people everywhere, even those with a resting b**** faces, can be happy. So then what is happiness?

First, I want to argue that defining happiness isn't the question we should be asking. Instead, I want to distinguish between the two types of happiness we often conflate. One - let's call it "happiness" - will be defined as the temporary feeling of elation and contentment we have. But that something deeper and more fundamental to us, I want to call joy. (I like how the 20th-century writer, C.S. Lewis, expresses his view on defining words so they don't lose their meaning to a connotative soup.)

So in this little blog-post, I want to show how you can be both happy and joyful.

How to be Happy

Eat right, sleep right, exercise right

I'm not even going to cite anything here, but having the right chemical balance in your body is essential to being happy. I personally have a hard time finding happy sleep-deprived people who starve or overfeed themselves. Are you one of these people?

Eating and sleeping right also includes exercising as it builds your body and brain with the food you eat and helps put you on a better sleep schedule. Overall, being healthy is one of the most important biological mechanisms for being happy.

A diverse diet, around 8 hours of sleep, and at least an hour of working out 3 times a week is good for both your physical and mental health.

(I know it's hard to find rigorous exercise during this quarantine. I use a home fitness plan called P90X. If you want to go free, there are also some good YouTube channels like Athlean-X).

Figure out your feelings

Feelings are temporary, but they're reproducible. If you want to take the scientific or lay-clinical approach to being happy, figure out what makes you upset and what makes you happy. Don't shy away from what makes you upset. Probe into it. It's tough dealing with things personally, but if you can remove yourself from the issue and see it from a third-person perspective, this can transform your "upset mindset" into a growth mindset (which I'll get into later).

On the flip side, if you feel happy, don't take it for granted. Being happy is good so write it down! Write when and what situation you were in, what you did, etc. It's as simple as keeping a journal.

Have a pet

According to the Huffington Post, owning a having a pet is one of the best things you can do. Pet owners are generally happier, longer-living, and healthier than those without a pet. I didn't realize the importance of having a pet until recently when I got my first pet cat. In fact, as you may have noticed, all the pictures you see on this post are of her.

How to be Joyful

These were some day-to-day tips on how to be happy. But now I want to go a bit deeper and probe at the roots a bit more. What is joy and how can you achieve it?

Build a growth mindset

Here's a short story. A while back during a group meeting, a nice ninety-year-old lady told us a story of her past and jokingly recalled "I was so immature thirty years ago." There's always room to grow and to change, and knowing this is called the growth mindset. It's a bit "self-help," and a bit abstract, but it is a complete reversal of how many people view themselves. So many more qualified people have spoken on this subject, so I'll leave the explaining to them. Here is one video by Stanford professor, Carol Dweck.

However, I do want to point out one very important situation that calls for a growth mindset but tempts for the opposite. It's called comparing yourself to others. You've probably heard quotes like "the grass is always greener on the other side." When applied to real life, there's always going to be someone with more natural ability, more resources, and more privilege than you. Point is, there's always a metric you can go off to make yourself and to make other people feel worse. But is there a point to it? In other words, are you going to do something about it? If yes, then go ahead and be the difference. But if no, it's better to focus your feelings on what you truly want to do and to count your blessings.

Don't feel confined

I generally get upset when I feel limited by a circumstance. Bad grades - I feel academically limited (and career-wise), saying something dumb - I feel socially stuck, and overall when something makes me feel bad, it's something that makes me feel like I can't move. This applies to most things in life too. When a friend or family member passes away, there's nothing you can do to bring them back. It's like a path being closed for the last time - one less option, one less degree of freedom. It's mental claustrophobia.

But this existential crisis of human limitation (what am I here for? What do I do now?) has also been one of the most widely addressed throughout history. The answer that's been given again and again?

Don't dwell on it.

Some of you may have heard this famous quote "do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself" (Matthew 6:34). It's nice and proverbial, but it's limited to just that when left unfounded. In fact, it may seem a bit flippant. When dealing with the topic of your life as a human being, problems such as societal pressures, deaths, injustice, diseases (especially now), and all that, it may begin to mount and you may start to feel less powerful than you thought when you first stepped into kindergarten.

In response, the premise of most major religions two to three thousand years prior have been centered on realizing the greater picture than all this chaotic noise within the universe. Post enlightenment, the dying god has been gradually substituted with a general acceptance of fate and gradual pragmatism to systematically extinguish every problem and injustice possible around us through technology and social reform. This works to a certain extent, but according to the United Nation's World Happiness Report, it's still not enough.

One of the guiding principals to legendary basketball coach John Wooden's pyramid of success is a prayerful faith. And this faith, tying back to C.S. Lewis, "is the art of holding on to things in spite of your changing moods and circumstances."